


Fake It 'Til You Make It

by Vixen13



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: College!Peter, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, M/M, Masturbation, Personality Swap, Roommates, Sexting, oblivious characters, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 08:52:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12837669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixen13/pseuds/Vixen13
Summary: Peter has always been anxious and uncertain, which was why being Spider-man was such a relief. However, Spider-man wants to rework his image into something more professional, so this leaves Peter Parker needing a new outlet to help him cope with life. Good thing he knows just the person to take after: Deadpool.Deadpool wants to learn how to be a real hero and teams up with his favorite superhero in order to accomplish that. However, this requires anxious, uncertain, and boring Wade Wilson to practice those lessons. Good thing he knows just the person to take after: Spider-man.





	Fake It 'Til You Make It

**Author's Note:**

> So like, months ago, I had a giveaway and the top prize was a story of the winner's choice. This is it and I've been struggling with it for a while. But with Enraged (and Winston) finished, I decided to post this in order to give myself more pressure to work on it. lol
> 
> Downside is that my wisdom tooth is trying to embed itself into my jaw so until that massive pain goes away, my writing ability may be a little slowed down. @.@

“That’s it! I’ve caught you Mr. Rog—” Spider-man coughed and dropped his voice into something more commanding and hero-like. “Embezzling is a serious crime. If you feel the need to steal from thousands of people’s livelihoods, then you should be prepared for the consequences.”

“Please! I can’t go to jail!” The man looked like he was used to living the high life, even if his outfit choices _did_ remind Spider-man of Mr. Rogers.

“You should have thought of that prior to stealing money and trying to skip the country.”

Spider-man pulled out his phone and called the police to let them know where the embezzler was located. His face had been all over the news that afternoon, so the man had tried to run for it before the police could catch him. Good thing Spider-man was faster than the police.

“You break the laws just as much as I do!” Mr. Rogers shouted. “What gives you the right, you vigilante?”

That was an image Spider-man was trying hard to break. Other superheroes were called _heroes_ , but Spider-man remained a masked menace vigilante. After carefully studying some of the most respectable superheroes in the world, he had come to the conclusion that two factors caused their success: wealth or attitude.

Since Peter Parker was — ahem — _poor as shit_ , wealth was never going to be an influence on the general public. So instead, Spider-man decided to start trying harder to mimic those that were well loved among the press, like Captain America. That meant no more wisecracks, jokes, or pop culture references. That meant staying professional at all times.

“You don’t work for the police! Cops hate guys like you!” the Mr. Rogers look-alike was saying.

“Sticks and stones,” Spider-man mumbled, though mostly to himself. As for the embezzler, he decided to give a long and thorough lecture about the lives the man had affected due to his theft of their pensions. Out of spite, he kept at it until the cops arrived. In truth, Spider-man still had a long ways to go before he could become one of the greats.

Well, practice makes perfect.

A few hours later Peter was perched at the top of a building and eyeing a food truck, debating the pros and cons of spending a few bucks on a couple of tacos. He really couldn’t afford to spend any money _at all_ , but he was _so hungry_. But if he gave in this one time, he might do it again, and then he’d _really_ be hard pressed for food money by the end of the month…

An unfortunately familiar red and black clad person stepped up to the food truck moments later and ordered an obscene amount of food. Once the people in the truck were distracted with trying to make it all, Deadpool turned around and looked up to the top of the building where Spider-man sat in the shadows. Deadpool gave a thumbs up.

Spider-man sighed and settled himself down into a more comfortable position on the rooftop. Deadpool was annoying, but at least he always brought food. Ten minutes later, Spider-man was wolfing down tacos and burritos as the merc sat beside him prattling on about his adventures since the last time he’d been in New York. Spider-man was never sure how many of those tales he should believe.

“I’ve been seeing you on the news more lately!” Deadpool excitedly noted. “You’ve been hanging out with the big leagues.”

“The Avengers.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Deadpool laughed. “It’s funny watching you try to be all professional.”

Spider-man frowned. “I _am_ a professional.”

“But you’re a master of quips! Don’t you miss those?”

He did, but he wasn’t about to admit it. “I need to have a mature image for the public.”

“Sure, sure.” Deadpool scarfed down some more food, the scars on his chin barely visible in the shadows of the building where they sat. Spider-man forced himself not to stare. He was a _professional_ , damn it.

“So!” Deadpool asked after swallowing at last. “Have any projects you need my help on, partner?”

“We’re not partners.”

“We’re a little partners.”

“You just follow me around when you’re in New York.”

“Well, if I stay a little longer this time, can we be partners?”

Spider-man sighed. “I’m trying to make my image look _better_. You’re a mercenary.”

“Ah!” Deadpool held up a finger. “But I come with some great benefits.” Deadpool started ticking them off on his fingers. “I buy you food. I can make the snarky comments you can’t. Next to me, you look downright _angelic_. And it’d be a huge mark to your character for rehabilitating the wild and crazy Merc with a Mouth.”

“Rehabilitating?”

“Yeah! You know I admire you, Spidey. I tell you all the time.”

“You only tell me about my ass.”

“And what a fine work of art it is.” Deadpool sighed dreamily. “But what I mean is, I wanna be a hero!”

Spider-man turned and stared at Deadpool for a little too long in mute shock. “Come again?”

“I want you to teach me to be a hero!”

“Teach…” Spider-man sighed and dropped his head in his hands. “Why is this a hard concept to learn? You just don’t do _bad things_! Like _murder_.”

“Okay, but, the rules change on that front a lot, in my defence. Sometimes people want you to kill the bad guy, other times they don’t. Like, how do you tell which ones do and don’t go to jail? It’s very confusing.”

“You know I don’t kill at all.”

“Which makes you better than the rest, right?” Deadpool replied happily. “Everyone says you have the best moral code. Thus, you’re the best teacher!”

Spider-man looked up at Deadpool and took note of the earnest posture and excited voice. Perhaps Deadpool _did_ want to turn over a new leaf. There hadn’t been any big news stories on the man in a while. That didn’t mean he wasn’t doing things under the radar, but…

Spider-man was highly aware of how crazed Deadpool was after being experimented on. It had definitely messed with the man’s sense of reality. However, the past few years, Deadpool had become increasingly coherent. Perhaps what he truly needed was a guide to lead him in the right direction and teach him the morals he had forgotten.

“Alright…” Spider-man slowly said.

“You mean it?!” One could practically see the tiny excited hearts bubbling up around Deadpool’s head as he clutched his hands to his chest.

“Under some conditions. If you want to partner with me, then you can’t run off for unknown times and come back. You have to stay dedicated to what you’re trying to accomplish. So, no taking jobs while you’re here. And as always, _no_ killing.”

“Aww, but Spidey, that means no more extra cash coming in.”

“Not my problem. That means you should have managed your money better in the past. Either spend whatever is left as wisely as possible, or get a part-time job like the rest of us.”

Deadpool’s shoulders drooped. “That doesn’t sound fun at all.”

“Being a hero isn’t about having fun. It’s about helping people. You want to be a hero or not?”

“Yes.” Deadpool stuck out his bottom lip.

“Then follow the rules.”

 

~*~

 

Peter kicked his foot against his desk to keep himself spinning in his computer chair as he texted on his phone. Two months ago he had moved out of his flat when the building had been condemned. He had managed to secure a roommate with one of his neighbors and they found a shitty little apartment with two rooms barely big enough to hold a full sized bed. However, it was cheap and each bedroom had a window leading outside. It was ideal.

Right up until the roommate skipped town a month after moving in and didn’t pay a damn thing towards the rent. This left Peter struggling for money and desperate to find another broke someone willing to put up with the tiny room inside the terrible apartment complex. After a month’s worth of desperate searching, Peter finally got a hit.

The person said they were looking for something short term, but that was fine. It would give Peter more time to search for someone more permanent that he could do a background check on. He didn’t want to end up living with someone crazy, after all.

They had set up a time in a few hours for the person to drop by and look at the place. Peter would have panicked and tried to clean up, but there was nothing really to clean. He was barely home to do anything other than sleep and there was no money for food, so the place was spotless via circumstance.

Peter leaned back in his chair and spun himself a few more times as he dropped his phone against his chest. Nerves coiled in his stomach, but he pushed them aside. It was an old reaction to new encounters, but he was well beyond that now. He had learned how to deal with it.

See, in high school, Peter had been the target of a lot of bullying. He found that playing the victim left him timid and terrified. However, trying to push back against it left him as an insufferable prick. He had enough hindsight now that he was older to fully admit that to himself.

Being Spider-man had been an escape of sorts. He could be who he truly wanted to be because the anonymity removed his inhibitions. Not to mention, if a funny comment didn’t seem that funny to a crook, well, nobody had to know it was said, and a crook’s opinion didn’t matter.

However, seeing how Spider-man was trying to renew his image, it left Peter once more without an outlet. It left him awkward and vulnerable and constantly concerned with what others thought of him. So in a way to combat that, he reimagined Peter Parker into someone else. The same way Spider-man was emulating the greats, Peter Parker was emulating the only person he knew that gave no damns about what anyone thought.

So that was just how Peter did things now. He shoved all of his fears and insecurities behind a heavy blanket of false bravado and chatter. Strangely, it worked for him. Having an outlet helped, so he just kept to the behaviors he was used to seeing. After that, he could tweak it a little to fit his own preferences.

For the first time in his life, Peter could talk, flirt, ramble, cajole, sass, and quip to his heart’s content and never once stopped to let himself worry over what the people around him were thinking. It was nice. Sometimes, it still felt fake, but the safety of the invisible mask he wore outweighed his thoughts on that.

Hours later, when the knock sounded at his door, he took a deep breath, forced a grin on his face, and ran over to open it. At which point, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He had been prepared for a lot of people, but the person standing across from Peter wasn’t it.

The man was wearing jeans and a hoodie, hands stuffed into the hoodie’s front pockets, and shoulders curled in. He looked shy and uncomfortable, which was in contrast to his perfect face, tan skin, bright blue eyes, and shiny blonde hair. The man looked like he was trying to shrink in on himself, but it didn’t stop anyone from noticing his large frame and the obvious bulk of muscles under the clothes.

He looked like a damn swimsuit model.

“Uh… Hi…” the man said, trying for a polite smile. “Are you Peter? The guy looking for a roommate?”

Peter picked his jaw up off the floor and let a cheeky grin spread across his face. “That I am. You Wade? Please tell me you’re Wade.”

Wade blinked in surprise. “Yeah. I am.”

Unashamedly, Peter let his eyes rove up and down Wade’s _very_ attractive frame. “It’s good to see you.” The sentence came out sounding dirty.

“What—”

“I notice you already have a bag on your shoulders.” Peter nodded at the rucksack slung over Wade’s shoulder, effectively derailing Wade’s shocked exclamation at Peter’s earlier words.

“Uh… Yeah. I’m traveling the world or whatever. So it’s just me and a bag. That’s why I don’t know how long I’ll be in town.”

“Sure, sure.” Peter stepped back from the doorway and swept his arm out dramatically. “Welcome to my humble abode. I _do_ hope you find it up to your standards. I’m sure New York could give you plenty of reasons to stick around.”

Wade eyed the smirking Peter cautiously, but walked inside all the same to check out the apartment. The cramped living space, shitty appliances, and lack of any decent furniture or decorations didn’t seem to bother Wade. In fact, he seemed perfectly content with how small the bedroom and accompanying bed was.

“I’ve stayed in worse.” Wade shrugged.

“A rave review! I’ll take it.” Peter grinned.

“Isn’t that my line?” Wade raised an eyebrow, still seeming a little off put by Peter’s boisterous nature and blatant flirtation.

“I dunno. Are you staying?” A wicked smirk spread across Peter’s face that was 100% not his own, but it fit the act, so he let his body do what it would.

“Yeah, I guess.” Wade shrugged. “Hard to find a place this spur of the moment and so cheap. I probably won’t be around a lot, so we might not see each other much.”

“Works fine for me! I’m in a doctorates program _and_ working two jobs, so I’m hardly ever here. You can have all the private time you want!” Peter winked and some part deep inside of him screamed that he was going too far. He shoved that part down as far as he could.

“Uh, right… Then I guess it works out…” Wade sounded unsure, but he also sounded swayed by the _cheap_ aspect of Peter’s apartment. Peter knew that feeling.

“Alright, roomie.”

Peter stuck his hand out to shake. There was a long pause before Wade finally took one arm from his hoodie and slowly placed a gloved hand in Peter’s. He was wearing an odd looking watch that Peter couldn’t exactly place, though it looked mildly familiar. Maybe he’d seen it in a magazine somewhere.

Wade went to pull his hand back but Peter tightened his grip abruptly, putting just enough super strength into it to make Wade’s eyes go wide, but not enough to damage anything. Peter let a hard smile spread across his features and dropped his voice into his best rendition of what had always sent shivers up his own spine. “If you skip out without paying, I will hunt. you. down.”

“I’m good for the money.” Wade’s voice was calm, but his eyes were wide. He was probably just being brave in the face of Peter’s threat. “I don’t stiff people on my promises.” He sounded offended.

Peter let his face morph back into carefree and friendly in an instant as he let Wade’s hand go. “Good to know! Anywho, the fridge is empty so buy your own food. I ain’t got much money, so don’t steal mine. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Good!” Peter turned on his heel and walked to his bedroom. “Let me get you the extra key!”

 

~*~

 

“It’s been a full week already. I’m impressed,” Spider-man said as he pushed a few more cars off to the side to clear the road.

Deadpool stretched and felt some of his ribs pop back into place. Rhino was not someone you wanted running full tilt into your chest. Really, Deadpool should be listening to Spider-man’s warnings by now. The whole “practically immortal” thing really ingrained a habit of not paying attention.

“I told you I was here for the long haul, Spidey!” Deadpool grinned. “I even managed to find me a room share!”

“Really?” Spider-man paused, looking unsure of what he wanted to say to that.

“Don’t worry! I didn’t threaten the guy or anything. In fact, he kinda scares me.”

“Scares you?” Understandably, Spider-man sounded dubious.

“Yeah! First day he was all intimidating and shit. Threatened to beat me up if I didn’t give him rent.”

Spider-man shrugged. “Roommates stiffing you is a pretty common occurrence in NYC. I can understand him being on edge.”

“Of little ol’ me? I’m perfectly innocent!”

“Sure you are.”

“Sooo!” Deadpool bounded over to Spidey happily. “Do I get an end of the week evaluation? Pop quiz? A sticker for effort?”

Spider-man straightened and propped his hands on his hips, trying to look serious. Deadpool just found it cute, if he were being honest. Maybe a little intimidating. But in a cute way. Intimidatingly cute. Or maybe more cutely intimidating?

“You need to stop being so careless,” Spider-man was saying. “I don’t care if you can heal, you shouldn’t see yourself as an acceptable casualty. Not to mention, bullets can go _through_ you and into someone else who _can’t_ heal. You need to start disarming the enemy earlier in the fight.”

Right. Deadpool usually didn’t bother. He would just let them get their jollies off with their weapons right up until he killed them and moved on. But killing was a no-no now, and apparently, so was the enemy having weapons in the first place. That seemed rather unfair.

“But how do I stop them from shooting at me?” Deadpool whined. “That’s what bad guys _do_!”

“You have to start thinking about your surroundings and problem solving a way out instead of running in like a berserker.”

“But that’s _haaard_. Berserker is, like, my whole shtick!”

“You wanna be a hero or not?”

Deadpool pouted and scuffed his shoe against the ground. “Yeah…”

“Then follow the rules.”

“You say that like there’s a list of ‘em, but you keep makin’ more up!”

Spider-man did that thing where he was trying not to yell like he used to. Poor Spidey, trying so hard to be the perfect hero. He really needed to lighten up. “Okay, look, maybe you’re not looking at this in the right way. You need to consider what it’s like to be a _mortal_ bystander that just wants to get back to their normal, boring lives.”

“How do I do that? I hate boring!”

“Practice. Try learning the rules in your civvies, get to know what it’s like from the viewpoint of the people you are saving. _Pay attention to them._ You’ve been behind the mask too long. It’s breaking your connection with people.”

Well that just made Deadpool uncomfortable. He hunched his shoulders in dismay. “People don’t like me, though.”

“First, that’s not true. Second, you don’t have to interact. Just observe.”

“It is true. _You_ don’t like me.”

Spidey chose to ignore that and keep talking. “Why not try talking to your roommate or just watching how he reacts to things? Watch a movie or something. Just be a normal person for a bit. You need to socialize.”

“You sound like a therapist.”

“And you sound like a baby.”

Deadpool let out a dramatic sigh. “ _Fiiine_.”

Spidey gave two quick pats to the top of Deadpool’s head. “Good boy.”

Deadpool tried not to show how pleased he was about that.

Not long after, Wade was slowly walking the sidewalk in jeans and a hoodie. Even though his Image Inducer was in place and active, his exposed skin left him feeling anxious. He kept his hands firmly in the pocket of his hoodie and dodged the people around him as he walked to avoid any unwanted physical contact.

Outside of his Deadpool suit, Wade just felt… like a freak. Deadpool could get away with anything, but Wade was just a weird guy that made other people uncomfortable. He tended to fight against that with harsh comments or getting into fights or just completely spazzing out, but he had to curb that reaction. He had promised Spidey to blend in and learn how to be a people.

Wade sucked at being a people.

So he just idly watched those around him, not really paying all that much attention, if he were honest. The crowd of New York City made it easy to just get lost in the mass of people and stay unnoticed. That was something Wade didn’t have to learn from them. He was good at that part.

He took his time heading back to the shitty apartment he was renting, as he wasn’t in any rush to get “home.” He stopped by a few places to get some food for later and a street vendor to get food for now. He considered getting Peter something as a peacekeeping gift, but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. He didn’t really want to even talk to Peter.

It wasn’t that Wade didn’t like Peter, he was an okay dude and all. It was more that Wade just didn’t know how to handle the guy. Peter was talkative and flirtatious, and even though Wade _knew_ the Image Inducer hid him away, he still felt vulnerable and _seen_ without his mask. It made it feel like all of Peter’s little quips were meant to hurt, and it left Wade feeling on edge.

It also left him feeling really out of character. It had been so long since Wade had attempted to just be _Wade_ , that he didn’t know how to do it anymore. Deadpool had become his entire existence, and walking around as Wade felt like an act, with him as a really shitty actor.

Yeah, this whole roommate situation was totally gonna blow up in his face. Sooner rather than later, most likely.

Wade trudged into the apartment and headed straight for the kitchen to put the groceries away in his designated cabinet and his half of the fridge. He had just finished when Peter walked out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel around his waist, wet hair clinging to his temples. They both froze and stared at each other.

“Uh… hey.” Wade gave a half second smile before turning back to his half eaten chimichanga. Out of the corner of his eye — since he was totally still checkin’ out that bod — he saw a smirk grow on Peter’s face.

“Hey yourself, handsome.” Peter sauntered over into the kitchen without a care in the world, letting Wade get an eyeful of all that muscle. “Just got back from the gym, you?”

“Groceries…” Wade mumbled, clinging to his chimichanga with both hands.

“Sounds like a blast,” Peter said flippantly as he opened the fridge and bent over far more than necessary as he considered his selection of drinks.

Wade stared a little too long at the towel slipping further and further down, showing just a glimpse of the starting swell of ass hidden under the towel. A mental image popped into his head of Spider-man’s stern and disapproving posture. It was like a slap in the face.

 _Be a good person!_ Wade yelled at himself and quickly hustled out of the kitchen and into the living room. He plopped down on the couch, still clutching his rapidly cooling chimichanga to his chest in a two handed death grip. He needed a distraction. Netflix! Maybe he could watch something boring and take notes on how people peopled like normal people.

He snatched up the remote and starting turning things on, shoving food into his mouth methodically. He hadn’t even managed to get the screen up before Peter started talking again.

“You gonna watch something?”

Wade swallowed his mouthful of food. “Yeah. Gonna binge something new.”

“Cool. I got some homework to take care of and I do better with background noise.” Peter walked over into Wade’s line of sight and winked. “Mind if I join you, or you wanna Netflix and chill on solo?”

Those comments. Those were the comments that had Wade’s anxiety spiking sky high. There was no reason for anyone to make those kind of comments to someone like him. He tensed up immediately and looked back at the TV to start scrolling through options.

“Do what you want,” he muttered.

If Peter took offense to Wade’s sullen comments, he never said anything about it. In fact, he acted as if nothing Wade ever said bothered him. It just made Peter seem all the more distant, like everything was a game and he couldn’t take life seriously. Must be nice.

When Peter walked back out of his room, he was carrying two large textbooks, his laptop, and was fully dressed in a loose shirt and sweatpants. Wade breathed a quiet sigh of relief at that. Peter settled into the other end of the couch and started setting everything up around him. Whatever Peter was studying _looked_ complicated, but Wade wouldn’t have known the difference either way.

Once Peter got into school work mode he was quiet and focused, only making the most random of comments and jokes when something around him seemed to break into his zone. Wade found it a surprising contrast to Peter’s usual behavior, but appreciated it. A quiet Peter was much more manageable.

After about four episodes, Wade could mostly forget Peter was there, the soft clacking of the keyboard being oddly soothing background noise. It was for that reason that Peter’s voice surprised Wade in the middle of the show.

“For fuck’s sake, just bust into the bitch’s house and steal her phone,” Peter complained to characters on the screen.

Wade agreed. Frankly, Wade would have beaten up the chick blackmailing the other chick a long time ago, but he couldn’t very well say that outloud. It was like Peter was put in his path by fate to test him on how to be a good person. Wade did his best to consider what Spidey would respond with.

“You can’t just break into people’s houses.” Wade rolled his eyes for good measure. “That’d be stooping to her level.”

Peter scoffed. “Taking the phone back would be playing fair. Stooping to her level would be peeing on her silk pillowcase.”

The boxes laughed, since they were just as crass as Peter. The boxes fucking loved Peter. Wade did his best to focus on the What Would Spidey Do. “You’re gross.”

“Oh, c’mon! Like you can’t think of some revenge plot that would make you feel better.”

Wade stuck his nose in the air, knowing exactly what to say since Spidey had lectured him about it previously. “Revenge is a slippery slope to feeling bad later.” Okay, that wasn’t as eloquent as how Spidey had put it, but in Wade’s defence, he had a shit memory.

Peter laughed. “Keep tellin’ yourself that.” Having nothing more to say, Peter went back to focusing on his work.

Well, maybe it was helpful for Wade to be living where he was. Peter was obviously _not_ the person to be emulating. Instead, Wade should focus on the heroine of the show he was watching. She seemed totally normal, and a good person. Boring as hell, with terribly bland taste, but a good person.

It occurred to Wade that both he and Peter were doing homework as they sat on the couch. Wade tried to be grateful that his didn’t involve writing a report. Though, when it came to Spidey, something that boring might actually happen. Wade made a mental note to do whatever necessary to dodge any talk of written essays when around Spidey from now on.

For the time being, Wade focused on the show, and silently begged every animal that showed up on screen to go pee on the silk pillowcase.

**Author's Note:**

> The goal of this story is to be of medium length. We'll see how well I accomplish that. XD
> 
> Coming up with scenes for this story is hard. Dunno why I'm struggling with it so much. @.@ I need things for Deadpool to do that Peter can try and things for Spider-man to do that Wade can try. Thoughts?


End file.
